This is the 2nd in a 5 part series of posts based on an interview with Leo Babauta. Read other posts from the interview»

I was working on the weekend, and I missed my kids soccer games. I really, really felt bad about that because my kids are really important to me but my work was overwhelming me at the time. I decided I needed to make some changes.

I quit smoking seven times and I failed seven times before the final eighth time.

The first time I quit, I thought it would be no problem – that I could just quit. I just stopped. As soon as the urges hit, again, I had no strategy for dealing with it. So, then, you start justifying it in your head: one cigarette’s not going to hurt. Then the second one’s not going to hurt. And then you smoke the third one. Pretty soon you’re not quitting.

I learned that you have to have a strategy. And so, from each time I quit, I learned a little bit more about myself and also about what doesn’t work.

The last time I quit, I had a strategy for each of the obstacles I would face. What am I going to do when I have an urge? What am I going to do when I’m in a social situation and people start smoking?

I had my oral thing. At first, it was candy and gum, but that easily adds pounds so that turned into frozen grapes and other kinds of healthy vegetables and fruits.

I also learned to get some support. This is huge. Get the people in your life – your spouse and your kids or whoever is in your life — on board. Even though you’re the one making the changes, it has got to be a group thing. Make it a team effort. That’s really been one of the major keys of my success.

If you can do that, if you can get your loved ones on board, you’ve got the greatest support system ever.

Becoming a vegetarian was a big change for me. People who aren’t vegetarian are not very accepting, at least the people that I know. And they really say negative things and try and get you not to be vegetarian. It’s difficult when the people around you don’t support you.

The idea for vegetarianism came when I saw some info and videos online about the meat, egg and dairy industries. It’s really horrible, and I think if more people knew about it, they’d consider a change.

I thought what most people think, even after seeing all the info — “Isn’t it too hard to become vegetarian?” The answer turned out to be “No.” It’s pretty easy — there are tons of great vegetarian dishes that will have you never missing meat again.

At first, Eva was like “I’m not going to be vegetarian.” And I’m like, “That’s fine, this is right for me. You can eat whatever you want.” But later on, she actually stopped eating red meat and poultry. Now, she only eats seafood. So, she’s not a strict vegetarian, but she’s really changed her diet – with some encouragement from me. But at the same time, it’s just something I think that she decided she wanted to do for herself. We’ve been kind of on pretty parallel journeys there.

We cook vegetarian spaghetti or chili or tacos, things like that, and the kids do like those. So, they don’t turn their noses up at those kinds of foods, but they still eat meat pretty much every day.

I think it’s pretty cool when you have someone who’s trying to do the same kinds of things as you. That’s always really useful. Eva and I started running together. We don’t always run together now, but we both enjoy exercising.

The kids aren’t into exercising, but they go outdoors and they play soccer and stuff like that. They’re not into simplifying, either. I like to get rid of clutter, and they like to keep it. So, that’s kind of a little bit of a battle, but we make compromises.

I’m lucky. My wife, Eva, has been extremely supportive from the beginning of everything that I’ve done. She really wants me to be happy and succeed at what I do.

Leo Babauta blogs at Zen Habits and Write To Done. He is the author of The Power of Less, Zen to Done, and The Zen Habits Handbook for Life. Follow him on Twitter.

Published Tuesday, June, 23, 2009